Rotherfield F.C.

Division 8 League Table 5th December 2009

Danehill II 2 Rotherfield II 1            Saturday 5th September

The first game of the season for Rotherfield reserves followed the pattern of last season's opener with the whole team performing well and getting their passing game straight into gear but suffering the disappointment of defeat at the hands of an opposition who took their few chances better.

The way we played confirms that this should be another entertaining season, if we build on this opener. A slight change in formation to 4-5-1 seemed to work well with all units getting things right immediately. The back four of Gary Underdown, John Elms, Karl Day & Gregg Brunger looked as solid as any defence during the previous 12 months. They were ably supported by a superb performance in goal from Robin Paige, whilst he didn't have too many great saves to make his command of his penalty area instilled an obvious confidence in his defenders which was reflected in their virtually trouble free afternoon.

The midfield 5 worked well together, Rob Simmonds and Tony Coulson holding the centre of the field together with Jack Parrott, belying his youth, adapting fantastically well as the link between midfield and Gareth Evans upfront. The two wide players Nick Lane and James Bannister showed such thrust and pace that they were regularly able to get in behind the Danehill defence and just a little more calmness with the final ball and in front of goal would surely have given Rotherfield the victory the performance deserved.

All three substitues Sam Gregson-Williams, Tom Ford and Darren Bickmore slotted straight in when used and they helped to create a late goal for Gareth Evans but there was sadly not enough time remaining to find an equaliser.

With more of the squad returning from holiday and injury/illness for Saturday's game at Burgess Hill even better things are expected and the target must be the first three points of the season.

Line Up  GOAL Robin Paige DEFENCE Gary Underdown, John Elms, Karl Day, Gregg Brunger MIDFIELD James Bannister, Rob Simmonds, Tony Coulson, Jack Parrott, Nick Lane FORWARDS Gareth Evans SUBS Sam Gregson-Williams, Tom Ford, Darren Bickmore

Goals    Gareth Evans 1

Star Man    James Bannister

Burgess Hill III 0 Rotherfield II 1            Saturday 12th September

A week is a long time in football, five changes to the starting line up and that line up returning to the more traditional 4-4-2 and only one proper substitute and the old man. We took the secenic route to Burgess Hill courtesy of Dan Done's Sat Nav, which is clearly set to avoid any major roads and large towns! However, all roads were leading to Burgess Hill's goal as soon as we took to the field, the home defence never really coping with the pace of both frontmen and the two wide midfield players.

Whilst it was the four quick lads that were opening things up regularly they were ably prompted by the returning central midfield duo of Jack Burton and Dan Done, in fact Dan came closest striking the woodwork twice in the first half hour. The wide players were regularly cutting inside and combining well with both forwards and with a little more luck and confidence in front of goal the game would have been out of reach by half time. In fact it was only 1-0 when the referee blew up for the half time break, the goal coming from Gareth Evans, with his head again, getting on the end of a beautifully delivered free kick from James Bannister (thankfully James realised he's not Christiano Ronaldo, otherwise they might still be trying to locate that match ball!!)

Rotherfield's back four were never troubled and, although the Burgess Hill strikeforce were not the most potent likely to be faced this season, this was even more surprising as the centre back pairing was completely new and Robin Paige had been expecting to play in ball before being drafted in at right back. Tom Woodgate and Rob Simmonds are determined to be the central defence pairing for the season and their first opportunity to prove it has gone a long way to convincing the powers that be that they have a strong point. At left back Gary Underdown not only put in another strong individual performance but helped to talk the inexperienced new partners through the game.

In the second half there was little change as it was virtually all one way traffic but a couple of goal line clearances and some more wayward finishing meant that Rotherfield couldn't relax completely until the final whistle blew. Even more so than the previous weeek Rotherfield came away realising that they could have had 5 or 6 goals if only their finishing had been better but this will come.        

Rotherfield II 3 Cuckfield III 1            Saturday 19th September

There was a little nervousness from the manager prior to kick off for the first home game of the season as the opposition had scored 7 goals last week and were clearly going to test the inexperienced central defence partnership more than the previous week's opposition. However Tom and Rob had no such fears, they couldn't wait for the challenge, it's still not clear whether this confidence reflects their courage or their stupidity although the mangaer has his own opinions on this!! They certainly proved that any fears were unfounded, in fact this week they looked even more solid and restricted their freescoring opposition to the odd speculative long range effort. At the back they were ably supported by two full backs who continue to prove both solid and creative in equal measures, Gregg Brunger's partnership on the right side with Jack Parrott was particularly good to watch this week.

As the home team took to the field there were some concerns about whether studs were the correct footwear as carpet slippers appeared to be the order of the day on what must be one of the best playing surfaces in Sussex. There was however no lethargy about the Rotherfield start, Eavns kicks off to Done, he rolls the ball back to Burton who picks out Bannister on the left, Bannister beats defender gets to byline and cuts back for Burton to crash home!! Those on the sidelines hadn't even had time to set their watches and it's 1-0 to Rotherfield.

It was back to 4-5-1 again with Gareth Evans the lone striker but he had plenty of support from midfield, especially Jack Parrott coming of age and starting to show exactly what we know he is capable of. Ben Holdway continues his return following last seasons injury and he seemed determined to cover every blade of the Peter Ford manicured grass.

The second goal came from the now predictable souce, free kick, Gareth Evans header, ball in the net. If Gaz realise he can use his feet in front of goal as well the goals will really start to flow. At 2-0 at half time the talk was just about concentrating on a job only half done and making sure that Rotherfield continued to control the game, which is exactly what they did. An injuy to James Bannister allowed Nick Lane to join the fray and Gareth Evans was also given a rest for Darryl Knight and the game reained the same. In fact a third goal came following some determined work from Knight followed by a good square ball into the area which was turned into his own net by a Cuckfield defender desperate to stop the goal threat of Dan Done. The experienced Karl Day came on to bolster the midfield as well and to keep in check the away teams main dangerman on the right of their midfield. 

Everybody was disappointed that Cuckfield grabbed a consolation goal in the last five minutes but it was no more than a consolation and just helped to add to Rotherfield's resolve and they saw out the remaining minutes without further mishap.    

Line Up  GOAL Matt Vigor DEFENCE Gary Underdown, Rob Simmonds, Tom Woodgate, Gregg Brunger MIDFIELD James Bannister, Ben Holdway, Jack Burton, Dan Done, Jack Parrott,  FORWARDS Gareth Evans, SUBS Karl Day, Nick Lane, Darryll Knight

Halsford Lions 1 Rotherfield II 2            Saturday 26th September

Halsford Lions 100% record this season came to an end at the hands of a spirited Rotherfield team on a poor surface in the hot Indian Summer sunshine, both of which made quality football difficult. It had been a tough week for all three Rotherfield managers as every day resulted in more injuries, work commitments and well meaning but misgiuded girlfriends robbing them of their normal choices. The second team suffered as badly as any with first team call ups for the "fancy Dans and Jacks" added to injuries making team selection difficult.  

The midfield was completely changed from last week, in the central holding roles Karl Day was rolling back the years and I'm not just referring to his all action performance but also the fact that yet another referee now has his name in their notebook!! Alongside Karl was new boy Steve Songhurst who hadn't played for a few years and will need a game or two to show his true class however he will soon have a new career as a housepaint colour card as, in fifty five minutes of football he went from carnation pink through various shades of red starting at a light loveheart colour past ferrari red moving onto a deep mauve and not until he reached beetroot purple did his manager take sympathy on him an allow him to leave the field. The two wide midfield players were both recruited from the third team but confirmed the confidence shown in them by their tireless performances supporting both in attack and protecting their full backs in defence. Dave Stengle showed the class that is unfortunately now going to be gracing university playing fields while Jed Grayston, looking like a young Robbie Savage, showed that he can now bring his superb performances at training to match days. The other new player was John Saj, introduced to the club as a friend of Elloitt Wilkins (making him quite a rarity straightaway). Like Steve he hasn't played much football in recent years, unlike Steve he has clearly been living the life of a monk during this time as he breezed through the ninety minutes with little difficulty.

At the back there were no changes at all, Matt Vigor was again commanding in goal instilling huge confidence into his defenders. Rob Simmonds and TomWoodgate were, once again, standing firm in the centre. It has often been said that you have to be mad to play in goal but these two have re-written all the footballing cliches as they are the maddest pair of centre halves I have known. Their joint IQ is equivalent to that of a flea and a squashed flea at that! Once again though, there was a "none shall pass" attitude that ensured that the only goal conceded was due to a referreing error. Full backs Gregg Brunger and Gary Underdown once again showed quality going forward when they were able to and resolve defensively, perhaps more importantly they supported their young midfield team mates passing on their experience on a tough afternoon. 

As before, Gareth Evans was the lone forward until John Saj tired and decided he needed to spend a little more time occuping that offside position that Gareth had made his own! Once again Gareth's tireless running and blistering pace made him a constant irritant to the Halsford back four.

Because of the conditions this was a very different Rotherfield performance to previous weeks as it had to be based around grit and determination and every player showed those qualities in vast amounts. The opposition had won all of their previous games convincingly so we knew we would be in for a tough afternoon but tremendous team spirit and an adherence to holding their shape saw Rotherfield through. Halfway through the first half things just got tougher thanks to a refereeing error, Gary Underdown was flattened illegally (no mean feat, it has to be said) but play was waved on with the eventual headed goal being scored at the far post where the still prostrate captain would have been, even then Matt Vigor was extremely unlucky not to keep it out.

Right on half time John Saj pounced on a defensive lapse and before Halsford could react he had finished clinically and Rotherfield were back on level terms. Early in the second half it was John once again capitalising this time on a poor kick from the home teams keeper to give him no chance to make amends for his error. Although Rotherfield spent most of the remainder of the game holding onto what they had got, they still had the better of what goal scoring chances came. With Richard Stengle replacing Steve Songhurst, Rotherfield's two banks of four across midfield and the back restricted Halsford to hopeful long balls which were confidently dealt with by the defence and keeper respectively.

This report would not be complete without a mention of the second substitute, on loan from his usual Old Codgers Nursing Home XI Gary Ould rolled back even more years than Karl Day and with Tom Woodgate and Rob Simmonds taking turns to work his life support machine came through his 20 minutes of fame without any major mishaps. Now we move onto the cup competitions over the next two weeks.

Every Rotherfield player should be very proud of their efforts this afternoon, they showed the strength of character that is going to be just as important as the quality of football if this is to be a successful season.         

Line Up  GOAL Matt Vigor DEFENCE Gary Underdown, Rob Simmonds, Tom Woodgate, Gregg Brunger MIDFIELD Dave Stengle, Karl Day, Steve Songhurst, John Saj, Jed Grayston,  FORWARDS Gareth Evans, SUBS Richard Stengle, Gary Ould

Rotherfield II 6 Barcombe II 0            Saturday 3rd October

Six goals scored, none conceded, now top of the league, a hatrick and a goalkeeper virtually unemployed. So across to the post match press conference: the manager must be over the moon. " Possibly the poorest we have played as a team so far", "not enough passing on the ground", "we tried to get the ball forward too quickly, too often". It just goes to show what do managers know about football, they are obviously just frustrated players!

There was such a strong wind blowing across the ground this week that Rotherfield Recreation Ground got it's first mention on the shipping forecast, so it was no surprise that quality football would be difficult even against an away side that arrived with an early season bottom of the league position. In contrast to last week, Rotherfield's managers had a tougher task ensuring that everyone got a game this time. The manager should remember before he opens his mouth that his only job is to gel a team out of a group of individuals and, with possibly his strongest line up of the season, perhaps the finger should be pointed firmly in his direction as his ability to bring out the best in players that have played at a higher level was again brought into question. 

Although Barcombe are bottom of the league the Rotherfield team had been warned that early season form can be misleading and their minds needed to be on the job from the first minutes and it was clear when the away team emerged that they were going to provide a "heavyweight" challenge. Fortunately for Rotherfield it was more Audley Harrison than Mike Tyson. 

The only change at the back was Craig King in at left back for Gary Underdown who is battling hard against a series of early season injuries brought on by dragging his ageing body around too many hard grounds. Once again the defence, that this season so far has been built on, were solid although they will all agree that, apart from Gregg at right back, they have all played better and perhaps the conditions plus the lack of cutting edge from the away team naturally caused lapses in concentration. This did at least give Matt Vigor in goal the opportunity to practice his specialist subject of back four abuse, which helped to keep the chuckle brothers in the middle of defence concentrating on the game. In fairness to Rob and Tom, the strong wind and the sound of the local funfair must have confused their childlike minds "should we be flying a kite or hooking a duck" was obviously a tough conundrum for this pair. 

In midfield, Rotherfield were in complete command if not at their smooth best. There was an inevitable inclination to try to get forward too quickly as the goals continued to flow but it would be churlish to criticise a midfield that dominated from the first minute to the last.

The goals started early in the first half when Jack Burton's trademark 50 yard cultured longball hoof down the middle was met well by Gareth Evans to take it past the keeper and slot home in the open goal, comedians in the crowd were crying out for him to keep up his record by using the time he had to stoop and head the ball over the line but professionalism is a byword of Gareth's game so, no showmanship. He then highlighted that professionalism a few minutes later as he found himself tackled in the penalty area and, of course, we all know what a tackle in the penalty area means these days, PENALTY! Gareth put the spot kick away with ease and the result was in no doubt form that minute on. He had an opportunity early in the second half to take his hatrick but it turned out to be his last as he was withdrawn with the match won and was told to put his waif like body in a box of cottonwool as usual until next Saturday. 

Dan Taylor showed his class with a quality hatrick, if we can keep Dan injury, work commitment and babysitter free for the rest of the season he will clearly push Gareth hard at the top of the goalscorers list. Jack Parrott responded fantastically from the challenge on his shoulder of Jed Grayston's great performance the week before (did everyone get that one, Challenge on his shoulder, Jack Parrott, these reports don't just write themselves you know!) Seriously Jack showed great feet and considerable skill capped by a cracking first goal for Rotherfield.

Did any of these goalscorers get the managers nod as starman, maybe Craig Hacker's total dominance of the centre of midfield impressed the boss with his striding across the ground winning tackles, surging forward at will, creating great openings for his teamates with the quality of his passing, combining in the intricate midfield build up and getting in some quality shots (reminding us of his father's past performances, well the winning tackles part anyway). No, we have already said that this manager has his own ideas of what is right, however no-one can argue that Gregg Brunger's performance rolling back the years wasn't deserving of this weeks accolade, in fact he has been very close every game so far and therefore there can be no argument it is richly deserved.

File this game under, a job well done, last season there were too many occasions when Rotherfield failed to obtain the convincing wins that they should have against lower placed opposition but this time around things are looking better at this early stage of the season.

Line Up  GOAL Matt Vigor DEFENCE Craig King, Tom Woodgate, Rob Simmonds, Gregg Brunger MIDFIELD James Bannister, Jack Burton, Craig Hacker, Jack Parrott, Dan TAylor FORWARDS Gareth Evans SUBS Nick Lane, Daryl Knight, Karl Day

Goals    Dan Taylor 3, Gareth Evans 2 (1 pen), Jack Parrott 1

Star Man    Gregg Brunger

Fairfield 1 Rotherfield II 2 after extra time  Parsons Cup             Saturday 10th October

Rotherfield have never met Fairfield before in any competition and, due to some last minute drop outs (all for very good reasons) they were almost late for this first date. This meant going with a squad of 13 including Tony Coulson who kindly stepped up from the third team just as they were about to leave.

One thing that Saturdays squad did show was how much the second team and firsts are now more inter twined as a squad than ever. The thirteen players who started this first excursion of the season into cup football contained 6 with recent first team experience and, even though preparation was poor this week due to the last minute rush to arrive in time, the early stages of the game refelected this with Rotherfield's slick passing game allowing them the lions share of the early possession. Unfortunately, they failed to turn this into superiority on the scoresheet and even had to thank Matt Vigor for one fantastic save showing agility beyond his age and build to keep the scores level as Fairfield worked their way into the game on the back of a determined effort to bridge the gap in ability.  

It turned out to be a bit of a curates egg performance, good and even great in parts but sometimes it became a little hurried although some credit should be given to the hustle and bustle effort of the home side.The centre of Rotherfield's midfield Dan Taylor and Jack Burton continued to do their best to get a foot on the ball and slow the game down to develop their passing game and they were ably supported by wide players John Saj and Elliott Hughes. Many chances were created and some were spurned but others brought out some great saves from the Fairfield keeper. Although Rotherfield pressure led to a number of corners in the first half the home defence were tall and strong and dealt with most of these easily so we went in at half time scoreless.

The second half started perfectly for Rotherfield when defensive lapses allowed Gareth Evans to nip in and score the opening goal. The flood gates still didn't open though, Fairfield's custodian continued to protect his goal admirably ably assisted by some wayward finishing on occasions, Dan Taylor in particular had two efforts that you would normally expect him to bury both go wide and both John and Elliott couldn't quite find their shooting boots but pride of place must go to Gareth for his effort in front of a virtual open goal, it is a very special player that can actually manage to hit a ball completely vertically although he had already shown earlier in the game what those 50p boots can do with some of his passing in the first half! By the way, 50p doesn't refer to their price but, as everyone who saw Saturdays game will tell you, they must be 50p shaped.

Defensively Rotherfield were not up to their usual standard this week, especially when you consider the fact that the manager continues to have the tough task of selecting four from five good quality defenders. The task of advising Greg Brunger that last weeks star man performance had earnt him a break on the bench was made a little easier when Greg admitted that he had rolled back the years the previous night and was suffering a little from that over indulgence, it appears that previous weeks typographical errors spelling his name incorrectly had upset him so much he was spotted wandering aimlessly round Davinci's Night Club muttering to anyone that would listen, "too many G's!!"

Gary Underdown tried to remain dignified while the other three younger members of the back four argued about who should be marking who, or was it about who had the biggest conkers nobody can be sure! Anyway, after conceding a soft equaliser the two central defenders who had become so close this season that it seemed only a matter of time before one of them popped the question suddenly had their first tiff. This seemed to clear the air and defensive solidarity returned as we went into extra time.

In the second half of extra time, just as the manager was starting to work out his penalty takers order, a corner from the right resulted in coconut shy time. Shots rained in from all angles and all players hitting the goalkeeper and various defenders and while everyone else was checking to find out how the Fairfield defenders were glued to their positions Dan Taylor took full advantage to rifle home the winner and also to tip the balance between him and Jack Burton for the starman award. It seems that Jack will need to score a hatrick clear five of the line and, perhaps most importantly, bribe the manager heavily if he is ever to get the vote.  

Lets hope this is a start of a cup run this season but next week it is back to the important matter of the league where East Grinstead have returned to the top and we now need to keep the pressure on them. The team spirit shown throughout extra time suggests that we have the resolve as well as the ability to have a successful season.

Line Up  GOAL Matt Vigor DEFENCE Craig King, Tom Woodgate, Rob Simmonds, Gary Underdown MIDFIELD John Saj, Jack Burton, Dan Taylor, Elliott Hughes, Jack Parrott FORWARDS Gareth Evans SUBS Greg Brunger, Tony Coulson

Goals    Dan Taylor 1, Gareth Evans 1

Star Man    Dan Taylor

Rotherfield II 6 Uckfield IV 0                                 Saturday 17th October

The result above says it all, a second consecutive league home win by 6 goals speaks for itself and needs no further words from your correspondent.

Oh come on ! You can't shut me up that easily!!

More tinkering was required this week as work commitments took John Saj away from us. At the same time James Bannister and Dan Done returned from their holidays with the first team while Paul Hammond came in to build up some much needed match fitness away from the eye and, probably more importantly, the vocals of Fordy.  

Once again the strength in depth that Rotherfield have as a club was evident as the Manager explained at the pre match briefing. With no first team game there were 14 other players available for selection from the first team squad and with half a dozen in the third team with recent second and even first team experience the final squad should feel proud, even privileged, to be playing today.

The back four was adjusted today purely to accomodate the fact that Rotherfield are packed full of midfielders like Albanians on a Channel tunnel juggernaut. Gary Underdown and Rob Simmonds were the two unlucky defenders on the bench this week but they took it very well, in fact Rob even agreed to sober up to prove his commitment to the cause. Young Jack Parrott also took a turn as sub this week.

So the defence had Craig King and Greg Brunger at full back with Jack Burton taking his place alongside Tom Woodgate at centre half and, as has been the case every week this season, it held firm and never really looked likely to concede. In front of them was a midfield five all of whom have varying amounts of first team experience with Gareth Evans upfront on his own again (I know only too well how lonely it can be for us speccy four eyes).

From the start it was evident that Uckfield had come to Rotherfield with a game plan and it was clear that they had no designs on President Obama's Nobel peace prize. Most of their "tackles" were just about stopping Rotherfield progress rather getting themselves into the game which played into the home sides slick passing style and pace all over the field.

Five goals by half time was a fantastic performance and I did promise to watch the game this week so that I could actually describe it. Sadly dementia is setting in so the memory of those great moments is a little hazy. I remember a superb link up between James Bannister and Dan Done to set up Paul Hammonds first goal which he finished superbly, Dan in particular looked like he'd had his cake and eaten it (he looked that way all afternoon in fact). Paul added a second later in the half when, from a corner, he went to ground in the six yard box but spurned the advances of many amorous defenders before squeezing his shot home. Dan Taylor finished with aplomb when his opportunity arrived (no I didn't say like a plum, that was last week!)

The other two goals need further description, Matt Vigor has been telling us all season that he is "gonna score one day" but he is a goalkeeper and whenever he does we just give him that mad keeper look and smile, shake our heads and look around for some intelligent conversation. However, a kick out of his hands midway through the half bounced unkindly for the opposition keeper and Matt's wild dream became reality. It has to be said though that as with most goals the final ball is often more important than the finish and it was put on a plate for him by Elliott Hughes's unselfish cushioned header into his arms, which left Matt the simple task of booting the ball the full length of the pitch and over the Uckfield keeper's head.

Now we come onto James Bannisters masterpiece of a goal, as he did all afternoon he skinned the Uckfield right side got to the byline and then somehow conjured a goal from an impossible angle after a slight deflection off of an Uckfield defender. I can now report that the Dubious Goals committee have sat as have the Even More Dubious Goals committee, the tape of the game was then taken to the Geoff Hurst '66 Maradona Hand Of God Goals committee and they have said there is no doubt it was James's goal. Apparently the vicious spin that he had put on the ball as he aimed to cut it back to the penalty spot would have taken it in anyway and the defenders intervention in no way affected the outcome.

An injury to Gareth Evans halfway through the first half meant that Rob Simmonds spell on the bench was short lived which is more than can be said for his time at Bugatis Night Club (the favourite haunt of all top footballers these days) the previous night, it seems his warm up was taking him back there for the hair of the dog as we tried to locate him as Gareth had to admit he couldn't go on.

After the first half battering that Rotherfield had suffered at the hands of their Large Town opponents it was inevitable that the second half performance would be a little more subdued. In fact the half time conversation was similar to the one spectators at a Millwall/West Ham game have, "forget about the game, lets just all get out of here in one piece." 

Kicking off the second half certainly helped Uckfield as it was an introduction to the ball for them and they took to the new concept of kicking the ball rather than the opposition quite well enjoying a good spell of possession and creating a few half chances which were all dealt with well by Rotherfield's rearguard.

Rotherfield's players had adopted their own individual methods of dealing with their more muscular opponents, James Bannister seemed to have adopted the old boxers approach of just holding on tight and refusing to break even when the referee told him to. Tom Woodgate went with the less sensible keep taking the piss to wind them up a little more theory while Dan Taylor, Jack Burton and Paul Hammond amongst others persisted with the Chumbawumba favourite of getting knocked down and getting back up again. Dan Done offered round samples of cake and, of course, Elliott Hughes noticed nothing, the atrocities of that first year at public school really does numb you of pain for the rest of your life.  

A sixth goal did arrive, again Hughesy set it up (4 assists he tells me and who am I to argue, I've seen him when he's annoyed) with a dazzling run taking him past defenders and keeper before Wally Hammond greedily took the ball off his feet for his hatrick and the man of the match star. 

I'm sure Jack Burton can confirm if I am right but I think this is the first holding midfield player to get the award this season, someone should tell Jack those blue stars are just like rainbows you can see them but you can never quite get hold of them.

Line Up  GOAL Matt Vigor DEFENCE Craig King, Tom Woodgate, Jack Burton, Greg Brunger MIDFIELD James Bannister, Dan Done, Dan Taylor, Elliott Hughes, Paul Hammond FORWARDS Gareth Evans SUBS Gary Underdown, Rob Simmonds, Jack Parrott

Goals    Paul Hammond 3, Dan Taylor 1, Matt Vigor 1, James Bannister 1

Star Man    Paul Hammond

Willingdon III 2 Rotherfield II 2                                 Saturday 24th October

It should have been plain sailing down at the coast, Willingdon bottom half of the table, Rotherfield 6 wins on the run, what could go wrong. The manager thought he had done everything possible to avoid disaster, even arranging for a change of kit to avoid Simon Mason's embarrasment (hoops can be so unforgiving of those carrying an extra pound or two). Sam Clark's motorbike had been fitted with stabilisers to ensure the offending ankle suffered no further damage. High quality maps had been supplied with instructions that even the simplest minds could follow thereby avoiding the the danger of Dan Done's Satnav taking the convoy all over the South of England.

Of course, when the words "Robin Paige was right, I should have listened to him and not thought I knew best" are heard at the press conference you just know that the world has suddenly been turned on its head. And so it was that the manager gathered his team at Hampden Park Eastbourne an hour before kick off and made them stand in the pouring rain staring at a locked changing rooms before allowing them to take what shelter they could at the nearby tea rooms causing consternation amongst the local blue rinse brigade as they were knocked over in the stampede at the cake counter as Matt Vigor and Gary Underdown showed pace not seen from either of them yet these season.

The boss was adamant that he knew exactly where they were and there was less than half hour left to kick off when he sheepishly returned to his charges following a couple of urgent phone calls to advise them that in fact the directions from the fixtures secretary (yes the ones that should be ignored at all costs) were correct. So a rushed convoy across Eastbourne to Sussex Downs College changing facilities were then followed by a cross country run to the pitch that they had been standing next to for most of the previous hour.  

By the time the game had started the few words of wisdom that time allowed the manager were blown straight across the channel and probably not heard until reaching land again on a recreation ground in Mid Normandy (most would say that they will better understood as the gaffer usually speaks a foreign language anyway).

Rotherfield were playing into the wind in the first half which meant that Matt Vigor was often virtually in Hastings whenever he retrieved the ball from any misplaced Willingdon shots and it was also always going to be difficult for Matt kicking against the wind so he adopted the interesting tactic of belting the ball out of play over the Eastbourne Indoor Bowls Centre.

Rotherfield's usually solid back four found coping with the strong wind difficult initially and Karl Day had to tuck his shirt in tight as there was a serious danger that if his shirt filled up with air he would be blown into the flight path of continental flights. In these conditions just keeping your feet was a tough task although Rob Simmonds practice at staying upright against all the odds most Friday nights was paying dividends at last. Jack Parrott suffered a severe crick in the neck as he watched Matts goal kicks fly over with great regularity. In the centre of midfield Jack Burton and Dan Done were finding it very difficult to get their customary foot on the ball and the gap between them and the forwards grew larger as the half went on and they got blown further and further back.

In the circumstances 0-0 at half time was considered a success for the away team and now they had to contend with keeping the ball from running away with them as they turned around for the second half with the wind at their backs. The hurricane that had blown throughout the first half had virtually blown itself out and was in fact downgraded to tornado strength in the second half.

Now they had a grip on the game and the football started to flow and, after a couple of near misses, Simon Mason showed his class finishing following a quality passing movement started by Karl Day at right back getting the ball down playing a good ball into Jack Burton who supplied Simon, he calmly took the ball across two defenders before planting his shot past the Willingdon keeper. James Bannister had struggled to get into the game in the first half but now he was on form and his running at defenders resulted in a number of Rotherfield corners and the second goal came from one of these perfectly delivered by James and you know that whenever Gareth Evans gets his head to the ball there is only one outcome, 2-0.

Rotherfield made two substitutions both of which are worth noting, Fraser Hall who is away getting an education at us taxpayers expense and it was good to see him back with us, possibly even more pleasing was Sam Clark's short run out which seems to have proved that his pre season ankle injury is now behind him. 

Two goals in front with 15 minutes to go would normally be reasonably easy to hang onto but, sadly, on this occasion the usually solid central defensive pair got caught out by Willingdon's smart forward. First, he showed by quick feet in the penalty area to draw a foul out of Tom Woodgate and then put away the resultant penalty, then he used his strength and speed to get the better of Rob Simmonds for the equaliser. This was particulerly hard on the pair who had adapted to very difficult conditions to put in great performances again.. 

On the day, the weather and the constrictive pitch had been a great leveller and, come the end of the season, this point disappointing as it was may yet prove to be a point gained rather than two lost.

Line Up  GOAL Matt Vigor DEFENCE Karl Day, Tom Woodgate, Rob Simmonds, Gary Underdown MIDFIELD James Bannister, Dan Done, Jack Burton, Jack Parrott FORWARDS Gareth Evans, Simon Mason SUBS Fraser Hall, Sam Clark, Steve Songhurst

Goals    Simon Mason 1, Gareth Evans 1

Star Man    Tom Woodgate

Rotherfield II 2 Ansty II 4                                 Saturday 31st October

I should start this report with a warning, due to the time of year those with a nervous disposition should beware, there may be some references to halloween within so you may wish to read this from behind the safety of the sofa, in fact there will be a small prize to the person who spots the most.

This weeks visitors were Ansty whose results so far this season have sent a few shudders through most of the title pretenders, would it be trick or treat for Rotherfield as they prepared to take on a bogey side who have often buried Rotherfield sides in the past. With Jack Burton getting his teeth into his new job as an estate agent (no, surprisingly estate agent doesn't qualify as a horror reference) Rotherfield had lost their captain, but Gary Underdown stepped up once again.

As the early morning fog cleared initial fears that poor visibility might cause the game to be cancelled disappeared. Both teams were desperate to keep their early season success going and  therefore, to mix my Autumnal metaphors, the referees whistle to commence the game felt like he was lighting the blue touch paper.

The early stages of the game gave no warning of the carnage that was to follow as both teams got the ball down to play their football on the superb Rotherfield pitch which has proved to be a graveyard for all visiting teams so far this season. However (I feel another Autumnal anniversary reference coming) it was somehow appropriate with Rememberance day coming that some of the scenes later on resembled the Somme more than a football match, don't worry Fordy I'm not talking about the state of your pitch. Just like a hundred years ago, young men (and Gary Underdown) kept dropping like flies in the midst of the battle. If this was the case then the first twenty minutes were the armistice as both teams played good quality football in peace prior to full hostilities breaking out.  

Rotherfield opened the scoring when Gareth Evans just managed to beat Ansty's oncoming keeper as he ghosted onto Rob Simmonds long free kick. Rotherfield were now controlling the game, Jack Parrott playing in his favoured position in between midfield and upfront was in great form, James Bannister had the freedom of the left side of the field and defensively things were looking strong. Sam Clark was brought down in the penalty area and the referees whistle seemed to confirm that a penalty was to be awarded, however he decided that the offence had taken place outside the area and therefore only awarded a free kick. Gary Underdown was then the first of the afternoon's casualties and so the bloobath began. Andy Newman, another veteran of yesteryear who has returned this season, replaced Gary which meant switching the line up around slightly as he took over from Grinner in the centre with Karl moving to left back. While both of these two had fine games, Karl had one moment of madness shortly after the switch. his ill chosen backpass was like a dagger to the heart as an Ansty forward seized the opporunity to beat Matt Vigor for a shock equaliser. Matt's reaction was demonic if understanderable, if this was not bad enough a mix up between the blood brothers in the centre of defence caused his apoplexy to reach levels that had spectators expecting his head to explode.

Gareth Evans had already been suffering some discomfort from an ankle injury when he was knocked out following a clash of heads, however the resultant loss of memory sadly shortlived meant he forgot his ankle and, upon returning to the pitch, thought he was Ian Rush as he scored with his first touch back.

So it was 2-2 at half time with everything still to play for and the Rotherfield first aid kit still full. There was a suspicion that evil forces were at work thoughout the second half and it seems like an ancient gypsy curse has been made on Rotherfield ankles as Jack Parrott and then James Bannister both joined Gary Underdown in leaving proceedings early due to similar injuries. The amount of ice used this afternoon could have replaced not one but two of the disappearing icecaps that we keep hearing about from the doom-mongers on the news.

Gareth Evans suffered again, this time a whiplash neck injury following another aerial clash. Through all the mayhem, Rotherfield continued to hold their own and it seemed likely that the game would end with honours even although Dan Done and Andy Newman continued to create opportunities to take all three points with their probing passing, Gareth Evans coming closest to adding a third with an angled shot which just clipped the post. With Rotherfield disrupted by the number of changes having to be made Ansty started to go for the jugular and it was they who eventually added a third when, following a corner, the Rotherfield defence seemed spooked and allowed the away team a free shot on goal which was gratefully taken.

With only just over 5 minutes remaining, Gareth Evans suffered another head injury when stooping to try to head home from a good cross. He met a defenders boot full in the face and now the bloodbath was literally in full flow. His initial hospital visit suggests that the damage may be more cosmetic than life-threatening, whilst the eye damage, broken nose and chipped teath are clearly painful they will only enhance the work he had clearly already done in creating his Frankenstein's monster look for the evening's party.       

With Rotherfield reduced to 10 men as they had now used all three substitutes Ansty took the opportunity to hammer the last nail in Rotherfield's coffin in the dying seconds to make the final score 2-4. Better news was the other results this Saturday as all the other top teams lost as well so the harm done is at least diluted and there is still a long way to go in what remains an exciting season.  

Line Up  GOAL Matt Vigor DEFENCE Greg Brunger, Tom Woodgate, Rob Simmonds, Gary Underdown MIDFIELD James Bannister, Dan Done, Karl Day, Sam Clark, Jack Parrott FORWARDS Gareth Evans, SUBS Andrew Newman, Jed Grayston, Steve Songhurst

Goals    Gareth Evans 2

Star Man    Gareth Evans

Barcombe II 2 Rotherfield II 1                                 Saturday 7th November

I usually try to have some fun with these reports and don't want to stop this now, however we need to get serious if we are to arrest this blip in our season before it becomes too late. It is true that the squad was threadbare this week, due to injuries throughout the club we had to go to a rejuvenated Barcombe with only 12 players two of whom are very rusty due to many months out of the game caused by injuries. Steve Songhurst has been on an almost week long fitness regime now and Nick Chambers yoga marathon has brought him back from the footballing wilderness. As Steve has performed for some short spells this season he started the game with Nick on the bench and raring to go.

The previous two weeks had both seen Rotherfield's promotion push suffer setbacks, however on both occasions it was felt that we had not had the rub of the green and deserved more out of each game. We have to be honest and say that this weekend that was not the case as is reflected by our goalkeeper getting the man of the match award, Robin came to our rescue too often this Saturday. Five yellow cards do say the same thing, okay the refereee was fussy but we were under pressure and that caused us to overstep the mark too often (let me make it clear, winners gather cards as well as losers lets pick some up because we are being tough on teams and not out of frustration at being second best).  

We talked before the game about being a bit tougher, nasty even and yet we were still too easy to play against. Going forward, there were opportunities when defenders hung out legs for us to go over and we chose to hurdle them and lose our stride rather than take the free kicks that were available. Defensively we allowed ourselves to be bullied, look at the treatment that Gareth Evans has to take we don't have to foul players but we need opposition forwards to come off with similar bruises.

On the positive side the first thirty minutes of this game were as good as we've been all season, the passing was crisp and the movement of the ball was intelligent. We created some good half chances and better but we just couldn't keep the intensity up and, perhaps, we didn't make enough allowance for the threadbare squad. It is always difficult not to want to come out all guns blazing but we talk every week about playing with our heads and we failed to keep enough in reserve for the second half. 

After 20 minutes of the second half a cross/shot?? from Greg Brunger crept under the Barcombe keeper to put us in front, sadly this seemed to be the catalyst for the legs finally running out of steam and, as was the case in the last two weeks, we failed to hold onto our lead. We could claim it was a little unlucky as the move started with the referee inadvertantly intercepting a pass forward from Andy Newman, however instead of being alive to the danger we were all caught back on our heels and were split through the middle by one good pass giving Robin no chance in goal. The second goal also came about when we were caught going forward by a quick break which gave Barcombe a two on two situation which they capitalised on well.

We need to learn some hard lessons very quickly, we have to be tougher work harder for each other and use our heads better. There is no doubt about our ability we need to show the heart and determination to go with it, and lets be less likeable please!

To finish, I would like to do a couple of player insights. Starting with Greg Brunger, he has come back this season after missing most of last year through injury better than ever and the old galloping stallion style that many of us remember is really starting to show through again. How appropriate to compare him with a stallion on a week when he scored, not just for the first time this season but for the first time in living memory for most of us. In fact, a header just inches over the top and a 20 yarder that took a great save from the keeper were close to making him prolific. Prolific is not a word that anyone would expect to use about Greg on the football pitch, we all know he has never failed to score off the pitch and I wonder whether the tables are turning now. After all, he has suffered from Gilmour's Groin for nearly 12 months (who knows what damage that must do) and then he got married this summer, all you married men will know what that means! I have a new theory, he's obviously not up to scoring in the bedroom anymore and therefore he will be bursting the net on the football pitch all season.

James Bannister, we all know him as the well spoken, educated, city slicker, I have learnt a little more about him this season. First of all there was the foul mouthed rant at a linesman early on, this has been followed by a couple of violent wrestling matches against Uckfield and now this Saturday he had to pull out of the side due to an ankle injury after a night of extremely heavy drinking. James, the truth is finally out for good and hopefully you wont have to continue this pretence anymore. I can now reveal that, the well groomed clean cut image that we see on a Saturday couldn't be further from the truth, most of the week he can be found staggering around the concourse of Kings Cross station unshaven and smelling of Diamond White cider and urine, swearing randomly at innocent travellers. Apparently this is financed by regular bouts in the seedy underworld of bare knuckle fighting, if you want to see the most unpleasant side of James you need to know those in the gangland underworld who can get you entry to the disused East End warehouses where he can be found rolling around in the blood and guts most Sunday and Wednesday nights. I'm sorry James but, until the truth is confronted head on, rehabilitation cannot truely begin, we are all behind you and will do everything we can to help.   

Line Up  GOAL Robin Paige DEFENCE Greg Brunger, Tom Woodgate, Rob Simmonds, Craig King MIDFIELD Karl Day, Dan Done, Andy Newman, Steve Songhurst, Jack Parrott FORWARDS Gareth Evans, SUBS Nick Chambers 

Goals    Greg Brunger! 1

Star Man    Robin Paige

Rotherfield II 2 Barcombe II 3                                                       Saturday 14th November

This Saturday was Malins Cup day, so the problems of recent league form could be forgotten and everyone could relax and enjoy themselves. Although the whole of England and Sussex in particular was suffering some horrific weather Rotherfield's now famous pitch was perfectly playable. This was the third meeting between these two teams already this season, Rotherfield winning 6-0 at home early in October prior to Barcombe finding their true form, then last week Barcombe won 2-1 in the reverse league fixture and now they were meeting again in the cup.   

One great thing about this Saturday was the long awaited return of Dean Rabson to the Club and he started at right back with Greg Brunger moving to the left back position to help ease Dean back in gently. Mark Sumner was promoted into the second team goalkeeping position and, due to two very late dropouts Dave Kilby and Richard Clibbens helped to fill the bench due to the first team game being postponed. 

As for the actual game, there is very little I can tell you about as the weather played it's part with horizontal rain being blown into the faces of the spectators, making it almost impossible to see what was actually going on out there.

I'm told that Rotherfield sored in the first minute through Jack Burton and have to accept his word for it when he tells me it was the goal of the season!!??

During spells of slightly clearer weather it was obvious that Rotherfield were performing much better than they had the previous week against the same opposition and the usual passing game had returned, special mention to Andy Newman whose intelligent use of the ball from the ventre of midfield was bringning both full backs and the two wide midfielders into the game. He was also showing an almost phsycopathic glee at throwing himself at every tackle that came his way. On the other end of the tougher side of the game was Gareth Evans as usual, as Barcombe's back four continued to get away with more and more brutal challenges on him it was inevitable that he was eventually put out of the game by the crudest tackle of them all. 

With Dean Rabson's legs gving out at half time both Karl Day and Dave Kilby were on for the start of the second half. Mark Sumner was faultless in the Rotherfield goal which is more than can be said for the central defenders in front of him, Tom Woodgate conceded a penalty and Rob Simmonds lost out too easily to present a simple chance as well in between these there was a fantastic goal from a cross shot. Dave Kilby pulled one back for Rotherfield who almost forced extra time, but this cup is now out of reach leaving the league and Parsons Cup as the two sole targets for the rest of the season.   

Line Up  GOAL Mark Sumner DEFENCE Greg Brunger, Tom Woodgate, Rob Simmonds, Dean Rabson MIDFIELD Sam Clark, Jack Burton, Andy Newman, James Bannister, Jack Parrott FORWARDS Gareth Evans, SUBS Karl Day, Dave Kilby, Richard Clibbens 

Goals    Jack Burton 1 Dave Kilby 1

Star Man    Andy Newman

East Grinstead Town IV 2 Rotherfield II 3                                 Saturday 21st November

This Saturday was the most important of the season so far, recent defeats meant that the trip to league leaders East Grinstead could spell the end of Rotherfield's hopes of promotion. A draw was the minimum requirement but, with the rest of the league queueing up just below the top two and all having games in hand, the Rotherfield management team were unwilling to accept anything less than three points today.

Losing Dean Rabson in the morning to childcare duties was a further setback on top of injured absentees Gareth Evans and Jack Parrott. Sam Clark's unavailability due to a long term commitment had already put some pressure on numbers, however these problems were considerably aliveated by Jack Burton and John Saj not having to work this weekend. The return of some injured first teamers also meant that Dan Done was back in the fold and added Ben Mansford to the squad.  

With some of the team going to straight to the ground it should have been plain sailing to organise the relatively short trip to East Grinstead, however no-one had made allowance for Dan Done's Sat Nav. Clearly this piece of technology was originally programmed by Michael Palin so three of the four vehicles in the convoy reached East Court via Weir Wood Reservoir, The Trans-Siberian Railway and the Panama Canal including picking up directions along the way from a Vietnamese fishing crew. Luckily James Bannister's and Tom Woodgate's rallying skills have never been in doubt but Mark Sumner looked a little pale on arrival after their death defying cross country trek. 

East Grinstead had a fantastic record with only 5 goals conceded from their opening 8 games which suggested a very tight outfit and I'm not referring to Mark's goalkeepers kit here! The talk in the dressing room was of not being a soft touch anymore, continue to play our football the way we like to by getting the ball down and passing but maybe we could learn a thing or two from the Thierry Henry's of this world by gaining an advantage by being a little more streetwise. The way Rotherfield lined up was a little different this week as well, Craig King took over from Rob Simmonds in the centre of defence with Rob moving to his old midfield position and upfront we went with a more traditional two strikers with Dan Done and John Saj both aware that this meant they did need to ensure that the East Grinstead defence were fully occupied at all times.   

The first half was as good a forty five minutes of football as we have seen not just this season but for as long as we can remember, it was just like watching Brazil or even Arsenal!! Ben Mansford was gushing with his compliments on the touchline, it was like Louis Walsh talking about Jedwood apart from Ben's obvious heterosexuality and the fact there was some real talent on display here. From front to back Rotherfield were getting the ball and keeping it weaving tapestries with their passing and reducing a very useful East Grinstead side to long ball attacking and "stop them anyway you can" defending.

Defensively Rotherfield looked strong Craig King organised the back four superbly and Tom Woodgate's form and strength returned after a couple of shaky weeks. The experienced full backs supported these two youngsters perfectly, both Karl and Greg were solid and yet also started many of Rotherfield's best moves of the game. In the centre of midfield Jack Burton and Andy Newman won virtually every tackle but also kept possession, happy to go backwards to their full backs if necessary and also setting both wide midfield players off whenever possible.

James Bannister and Rob Simmonds were running their opposite numbers ragged, James's pace had fear etched on all the East Grinstead defenders and Rob seemed determined to show that he can go past players with the same ease that James does. Dan Done oozed class, joining forces wirth his midfield colleagues and connecting up with John Saj his prompting, cajolling passing game was at it's very best. John himself was no slouch when it came to the pass and move game but, more importantly than that he gave a very experienced and clever centre half the toughest time he has had in years. Here was someone who knew every trick in the book but John showed him he had studied at the Magic Circle himself and was pulling rabbits out of every hat before his marker even had time to wave his wand, in fact by the end of the afternoon it was the white flag that was waving furiously.    

Were there any criticism's from this first half? Only positive one's, John Saj should have had a hatrick by half-time, Dan Done should have broken his second team goalscoring duck and perhaps a couple of times when we tried to over play at the back. Was there any aimless long ball football? Did anybody dive into a tackle that they couldn't make? No, in fact things were said that we never thought would be heard, my favourite was an East Grinstead player suggesting that Greg Brunger was our weak link because he got beaten once in the first ten minutes, rest assured it was the last time that happened.   

At half time Rotherfield had only two things to be disappointed about, first they were only winning 1-0, John Saj latched onto a goalkeeping error from Rob Simmonds free kick to confirm that, after two missed opportunities, his goalscoring instinct had not deserted him. Secondly, an East Grinstead voice was heard to suggest that our first team didn't have a game this week, we felt that our first half performance was much stronger than Mid Sussex Premier Division!

Although the performance didn't slip during the second half, Rotherfield did have to show other qualities as East Grinstead upped their game. Defensively they had to be stronger, Mark Sumner was tested more often and was regularly quick off his line to halt breaks whenever the defence was breached and saved very well from a Craig King header!! Eventually John Saj added a second goal when defensive frailties where forced upon East Grinstead following pressure from Rob Simmonds and Dan Done and, as soon as John was through with just the keeper to beat we knew he would finish it this time.

So now we could start to breathe easily on the sidelines, or so we thought. Just when we thought we were safe danger reared it's ugly head again in the shape of Tom Woodgate's backside! A safe 20 yard shot that was going wide or easily into Mark's hands was deflected into the opposite corner, this was then followed by Mark's only mistake of the game (keeper's just don't get away with mistakes like the rest of us) letting a slippery ball through his hands for an East Grinstead equaliser with five minutes to go.

Probably better than any of the quality football seen before was the Rotherfield reaction to this setback, more passing mosaics from Jack Burton, James, John and Dan led to Jack burying a great goal virtually straight from the re-start. Further great defending followed as East Grinstead threw everything, including their goalkeeper, at another equaliser but we held firm for a well deserved 3-2 win. How appropriate that the last kick of the afternoon was another misplaced East Grinstead pass going out for a throw following pressure from Rob Simmonds, he never rested all afternoon and he never let the opposition rest either. 

Next week it's cup action again so we can have a bit of a breather before getting back into the important league action again in December. After a few games where we let ourselves down everybody should be proud of this performance and if we continue to repeat it week in week out there will be no further disappointments.

Line Up  GOAL Mark Sumner DEFENCE Greg Brunger, Tom Woodgate, Craig King, Karl Day MIDFIELD Rob Simmonds, Jack Burton, Andy Newman, James Bannister FORWARDS Dan Done, John Saj SUBS Ben Mansford, Steve Songhurst

Goals    John Saj 2, Jack Burton 1

Star Man    Craig King

Cuckfield Town III 0 Rotherfield II 8                                 Saturday 5th December

Seeing the scoreline above I bet you are all expecting the obvious lines about "Rotherfield's Christmas coming early" and "an early Christmas present from Cuckfield", but regular readers will be aware that we try to steer clear of the obvious cliches in this column.

Often in the past trips to Cuckfield have been as tough as an over-cooked turkey and their defence rarely offers as many gift wrapped opportunities as it did this Saturday. With James Bannister arriving as late in the day as a Christmas postman and a Mid Sussex League spot check causing further delays, Rotherfield's preparations were not at their best. This led to the worst opening ten minutes of the season so far with everybody finding it difficult to get hold of the ball and, even harder to keep it. There was little evidence of the rout to come as Cuckfield camped out in Rotherfield's half for most of this period causing a number of moments that required last ditch defending from Rob Simmonds and Greg Brunger.       

The following 80 minutes were easier going, as soon as Rotherfield calmed down and got their foot on the ball the football started to flow on a boggy pitch which was not conducive to their natural game. Much of this performance was built on a solid platform at the back, The Chuckle brothers were re-united in the centre of defence and with Rob, he's the intelligent one of the two, taking over the sweeper role. Of course, when I say intelligent I am comparing just the two of them so such comments are all relative. Many of Rotherfield's best moves started with their full backs, Craig King was in command defensively and regularly supplied James Bannster with opportunities to expose Cuckfield with his blistering pace. At right back Greg Brunger was his usual smooth stylish self, just getting on with things with little fuss, the James Bond of the Rotherfield team is rarely shaken and never stirred and he combined with Elliott Hughes to open up the other side of Cuckfield's defence.  

With the two wide midfield players mentioned above finding themselves considerable time and space to run at Cuckfield's back four it was no surprise that they grabbed the lion's share of the goals but they will acknowledge the debt though owe to Jack Burton and Andy Newman in the middle who both worked tirelessly, tackled hard and passed accurately throughout the afternoon.   

James Bannisters hatrick were all individual goals, getting the ball running at the Cuckfield defence, taking them on then finishing with a quality that has probably been the only thing he has lacked so far this season. Gareth Evans won possession on the halfway then went on to go past the keeper before finishing coolly, Elliott Hughes twice found himself enough room to get his shot away and Craig King followed up a save from his own header at a corner to force the ball home. Oh yes, the Christmas party can start now, Dan Done scored as well!!    

In fact, by the end it could have been more, Dan missed two good chances as did Gareth, Jack Parrott came very close to finishing a great move between him and Dan with the keeper making a great save.   

So now Rotherfield sit on top of the league with a huge goal difference advantage as well, in the past games like this would have ended poorly and they would not have taken full advantage of their opportunity to pile on the goals. This is a new Rotherfield and now they need to push on, with only 9 league games remaining 7 or 8 wins from those should be more than enough to gain promotion.    

Line Up  GOAL Robin Paige DEFENCE Greg Brunger, Tom Woodgate, Rob Simmonds,Craig King, MIDFIELD Elliott Hughes, Jack Burton, Andy Newman, James Bannister FORWARDS Dan Done, Gareth Evans SUBS Jack Parrott, Sam Clark, Karl Day

Goals    James Bannister 3, Elliott Hughes 2, Gareth Evans, Craig King, Dan Done

Star Man    Greg Brunger

Rotherfield II 5 West Hoathly II 1                                 Saturday 12th December

West Hoathly were considered possibly the best footballing team in Division 8 last season, so there was a mixture of disappointment from a footballing spectacle reason and joy from a hardnosed results driven business purpose when their teamsheet only included 11 names.This was clearly an opportunity for Rotherfield to enhance their push for promotion with another 3 points and further goals to add to their already superior goal difference. With one of the West Hoathly eleven only wearing wellingtons it looked likely that even Dean Rabson would be able to outpace at least one of today’s opposition!

A spare pair of boots were found in the Rotherfield lost property box hidden beneath an old pair of Andy Newman’s platform shoes and Grinner’s leopard skin thong. There was a time when these two were dedicated followers of fashion sadly they were always following just that little bit too far behind to catch up with “that fashion stuff”.

Rotherfield only had 2 subs today and both of them had to run the line due to West Hoathly’s shortage of numbers, Steve Songhurst was doing the away team’s defence and therefore covering Rotherfield offsides and had to have a quick re-appraisal of the usual linesman instructions (if a forward gets through put your flag up!!) to “always give the benefit of doubt to the attackers, especially if they are offside”.

The first half was pretty even, although Rotherfield weren’t at their best they were still able to create a good number of goal scoring opportunities, and Gareth Evans wasn’t in the mood to open his Christmas presents early with a number of misses that he would normally have tucked away culminating in a rather embarassing tree butting incident which has now led to a hasty preservation order being put on said tree. It was West Hoathly who opened the scoring with a well taken free kick sadly not witnessed by your correspondent, due to the fact that with both subs covering officials duties he had to visit the bowls green amongst many other points of the compass to retrieve misplaced passes, but apparently Robin Paige in goal had no chance. It is true that this did allow us the surprise news that Rob can count to 3 as he was still complaining at half time about the lack of numbers in the wall, perhaps when he masters 4 and 5 we might keep such free kicks out later in the season.

Jack Burton saved Rotherfield’s first half blushes with a perfectly placed shot through a pack of players into the far corner, just as it was starting to feel like it might be one of those days. It would be remiss of me not to mention Jack Parrott’s great moments during the first half, one superb piece of ball control following a long ball played forward with considerable height and power was reminisent of the first touch only previously seen from the current second team manager. Unfortunately, Jack couldn’t find the killer defence splitting pass to follow up his breathtaking first touch but that is something that is likely to come with age.

The second half was much better for Rotherfield, James Bannister in particular found his true form and was going past his defender with ease twice setting up Gareth Evans with open goals. On any other day the goals would have been inevitable but today hearts were in mouths before Gareth hit the net, like a vegetarian presented with a bacon sandwich we know he didn’t want to but it was just too tempting to resist even though he hated himself afterwards. Luckily his appetite for goals is back now and he ended with a hatrick and Jack Burton got a second as well. West Hoathly finished with 9 men when one of their players suffered a bad facial injury which left him looking almost as rough as Tom Woodgate and one of his teamates helped him off to hospital. While this ended up as a fine win, Rotherfield failed to take full advantage of their extra numbers to add further to the goal difference.

So, now we approach Christmas and with no game on Saturday 19th how has the season gone so far? We are top of the table (the superstitious among us will rememeber that was the case last year) and, so far the fixture list has been kind to us. We met Barcombe before they had strengthened their team, West Hoathly when they were struggling with injuries and we have already beaten the East Grinstead team which looks like the most likely challengers for the title.

Luckily, with no game on the 19th, I have had more time than usual to get some of my presents sorted out so here’s details of what I’ve got so far.

Jack Parrott was first, he’s the youngest in the squad and I know he’s getting very excited that Christmas is coming, I have found him a nice jewellery box to save me from having to look after all his necklaces and bracelets every Saturday. JayZ, as I call him, is always the last changed before the game as it takes him half an hour to remove all the decorations. It does take me back to my youth though, when I was Jack’s age I often ended up with a necklace in my hand whenever I lost my bearings trying to get inside a girls bra!

There was no way that I could get separate presents for the Chuckle brothers, Tom Woodgate and Rob Simmonds, so I’ve got them a joint one. Inspired by Dean Rabson, I have bought them a brain cell. All I would say is this is to be shared, half each, I am sure your bodies will reject a whole brain cell so please use it with care and only in the company of adults.

Jack Burton gets another January, he has decided to work and ski in equal amounts this January so will be missed. Don’t worry Jack come February I will have done everything I can to form a fourth team so I do hope to still be able to give you a game. Of course, he has already had his early present as he was this weeks starman, I know that blue star will be safely tucked inside his salopettes as a reminder of his happy days with the second team.

It was easy finding a present for Greg Brunger, it had to be a martini, the only question was should it be shaken or stirred? The answer “shaken not stirred” of course. Our smooth, calm full back is definitely our James Bond this Christmas even playing at left back he remains the coolest in the side. If he played in his single breasted dinner suit and smartly pressed white shirt, he would still come off the pitch without a mark on him.

Alcohol for James Bannister as well, in his case “anything as long as it is cheap, strong and gets you p****d easily”, as it said in his letter to Santa. To make sure he knows it’s for him, no need to label it just the fact that it is in a brown paper bag will ensure he finds his stocking filler.

I don’t want people to think that I have any favourites, however I do seem to have gone a little mad with Dan Done’s gifts. There is a dartboard, a target golf set, a telescopic gun sight and a fishing net. No, I don’t think he needs a less active sport at all but, maybe, just a little practise at hitting the bullseye, finding the target, shooting and knowing where the net is!!

I still have some more to get but hope to have them all sorted out come Christmas.

Let’s all enjoy the festive season and come back fully refreshed and ready for the final push, 8 league games and, heres hoping, 4 cup games remaining. We need to keep the focus that has been evident so far and look to keep the pressure on the teams below us to win their games in hand just to stay in touch.

Although January’s fixtures are still hidden on the football mitoo website, I have managed to get a sneak look at the planned January list. On 2nd we have the return fixture with West Hoathly, lets hope their injury crisis isn’t resolved too quickly. Then the 9th is our cup game against Division 9 leaders United Services, we will need to do a job against their leading scorer who is clearly good in front of goal but they are certainly beatable at our best.

We are scheduled to go away to Uckfield on the 16th so we need all their other teams to be playing that day. Home to Willingdon on the 23rd gives us the opportunity to avenge their last ten minutes recovery at their ground. At the moment there is no game for January 30th but, anything could change in the meantime.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone, are we ready for 2010? To right, we are!!   

Line Up  GOAL Robin Paige DEFENCE Dean Rabson, Tom Woodgate, Rob Simmonds, Greg Brunger MIDFIELD Sam Clark, Jack Burton, Andy Newman, James Bannister FORWARDS Jack Parrott, Gareth Evans SUBS Steve Songhurst, Karl Day

Goals    Gareth Evans 3, Jack Burton 2

Star Man    Jack Burton